In For A Murder
The scene is set, a murder has rocked a small town in Poland, the chief of police? An incompetent fool, so it is up to a bored housewife who’s husband deserves a smack with a baseball bat to the face, to solve the mystery.
I wouldn’t say that this is the greatest murder mystery I’ve ever come across, I can somewhat tell already what’s going to happen. I mean the main character, Magda, is obsessed with Agatha Christie. So if we follow the formula of a Hercule Poirot or Miss Marple then the killer should be easy to ascertain. But who are the players? obviously Magda, a lovely but slightly dowdy housewife who is dominated by her dickhead of a husband, who everyone hates by the way. We have the chief of police Jacek who is way out of his depth and a mysterious woman who seems to have the necklace of a woman who has long since disappeared in mysterious circumstances. If this doesn’t sound like a glass and a half full of wine (I’m on my third) tantalising good fun (not for the victim) then you haven’t drunk enough.
I'm 50 minutes in and I’m intrigued. The acting is kinda bland, The setting is pretty but the music should belong to a film noir not a country-bumpkin-middle-of-nowhere-poland type piece. The comedy is slapstick to the point where it's boring and predicable. It’s not funny, but the thing about this piece is that it’s addictive. The kind thats so bad its good. Our heroine is an Amelie style Miss Marple. She loves to snoop. And it completely gets her into trouble, ob. She is followed by the whole town who is curious about the murder especially as Magda found the body. So she’s basically a local celebrity because this is a small town and fuck all happens in small towns.
There’s a lot of sage and chanting going around. A bizarre play with mysticism, very Agatha Christie. It is my belief and that of everyone around Magda that, Woman your husband is having an affair. Give. Him. Hell woman and not breakfast! (Is that a thing?)
And what’s the deal with the girl who disappeared? Her name is Weronika, I smell something fishy. God I hope this isn’t another Fritzel thing… like oh hell no.
Ah! It’s not the Frtizel thing, I’m surprised its on Netflix. Basically one of the characters dresses himself up as a middle eastern sheikh, darkens his face and everything and then you have this bizarre chase montage thing where they run through some women dancing in a very stereotypical asian style with fans. And then they start doing kung fu. Like wtf? How was this allowed?!?!?!?!
The ending was kind of a let down, I’m surprised I lasted through the whole 1 hour and 40 minutes. I guess the wine helped. Well, if you’re okay with bad jokes, racism and overall sexism then this is the murder mystery film for you. Agatha Christie is in tears, Hercule poirot has snipped off half his moustache and Miss Marple has stopped knitting. They’re that shook by this disaster. Thank god for wine.