Book Review: Normal People
“Most People go through their whole lives, without ever really feeling that close with anyone”
I have a book club with one other person in it. I know it sounds incredibly sad but it’s not. During Lockdown 1.0 one of my very best friends from uni was suddenly furloughed. She wasn’t happy about it. She didn’t like the idea of spending all her time at home with just her partner. All day. For months. And it was MONTHS. Our initial reading list included ‘Vox’ by Christina Dalcher and ‘Alice in Wonderland’ by Lewis Carrol. We were hunting around for something new to read when I came across ‘Normal People’ by Sally Rooney in John Sandoe Books just off the Kings Road in London. It had recently been turned into a critically acclaimed TV series for BBC 3, but I am one of those ‘I want to read the book first’ types. I know. Its tacky. I still haven’t seen it. Because -life. Terrible excuse, I know. I do humbly beg your pardon.
However, in ‘Normal People’ first meet our protagonists Marianne and Connell whilst they’re at school in County Sligo, Ireland. Connell is cool and popular, whilst Marianne is a bit of a loner, he cares a lot about what people think of him and she couldn’t care less. He has a loving home albeit poor and she has an abusive home, a disinterested mother and is pretty well off. They couldn’t be more different. Complete opposite ends of the spectrum, yet they’re drawn to each other like a moth to a flame. But who is the moth, and who is the flame?
In the beginning, it appears that Connell has a lot more to lose than to gain, he is at the top of the school’s social hierarchy and she is at the bottom, so he has the relationship kept secret. They don’t say ‘hi’ to one another in the halls, they only speak when Connell’s mother is around Marianne’s house to clean. It’s a good excuse, sorta. It works for a while. They start this electric relationship, but it all ends in tears as Connell decides to invite someone else to the school dance instead of Marianne. They part ways but are re-united at Trinity in Dublin and here we see a reversal of roles, Marianne has transformed into a social butterfly and Connell, well he’s become introverted and brooding. Over the course of their complicated relationship, which takes years, rather than months and days, they run into misunderstandings, saying the right thing at the wrong moment and not saying the right thing when it matters most of all. Somehow, heaven knows, they muddle through.
Marianne is a beaten down soul, but you’d never think that because she just rises above the hate. Or tries to, even at school. And what woman doesn’t wish that, as a teen, they just rose above the hate? But rising above the hate, when you are so beaten down, is easier said than done. Marianne doesn’t care about what the other girls think of her at school. But at home its quite a different story. She suffers abuse at the hands of her brother Alan, who emotionally manipulates her and beats her, hard. But in the end, we realise that Alan is a wimp. When confronted finally by Connell he ends up calling for his mother and crying. What a damp squib. But Alan makes Marianne feel pretty worthless, she allows for one of her boyfriends to beat her during sex, not because she likes it, but because that’s just what she believes she deserves. It wasn’t until she ends it with this boy and this boy tells everyone that she’s into some disturbing BDSM stuff, does Marianne recognise that she’s worth a lot more than to be beaten by those who ‘love’ her.
Connell wishes he could move on from Marianne, he even dates another girl called Helen, a girl who is steady and normal. A girl he could settle down and marry. She’s the long-term type of girl, the girl that, rationally, you should stay with. But there is one problem. She’s not Marianne. Marianne is smart, interesting, she challenges him and is always there for him when he needs her. And she is there for him when it matters the most. However, just when they finally get together and realise that they love each other more than is possible, does Connell get an offer to do an MFA in New York. Not wanting to hold him back, but not wanting to let him go, Marianne reluctantly tells Connell that he should go, leaving the future of their relationship in limbo.
I found this book very relatable on so many levels, the wanting to be a normal teenager, the angst, wanting to fit in but at the same time wanting to be the one to break the mould and not give a damn about what anyone says. However, who in the hell wants to be normal? Normal is an unrealistic expectation, like perfection and the relationship between Connell and Marianne, although not easy and certainly no fairy tale, isn’t normal. Its electric, draws you in and stay with you even after you finish the last page. So as to the question: who is the moth and who is the flame? They’re the flame and we’re the moths dancing around them.